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unfinishedooc2025-12-20 09:27 am
libraryassistants) wrote in unfinishedooc2025-12-20 09:27 am
Entry tags:
TEST DRIVE MEME #2
Welcome to the Library
Those who are new awake in the stacks.
You’re not sure when you fell asleep, and the memories of the last things you were doing are hazy at best. But now you’re here, and all you can see is books in every direction, the bookshelves teetering high enough above you to reach to the sky.
A helpful sign points you in the direction of the main circulation desk, and even if you try to ignore it and go in any other direction, the desk is where you will find yourself. A figure sits behind the desk, not even looking up as they sort through books and other media; they look, to your character, to be the exact picture of what they expect a Librarian to be.
Trying to ask the Librarian a question will get them shushed, but they’ll point down a hallway to the side, leading to a kitchenette and what appears to be a dorm room, where they’ll find they’re not alone in this strange place. But once they’ve looked away, when they look back, the Librarian is gone.
The Lobby
Those who are already familiar with the Library will see the Lobby change for the second time. It’s not paper plate UFOs and metal walls this time. Instead there are cheerful garlands strung about, and a stack of books shaped into a Christmas tree taking pride of place. The Help Desk is closed, the ‘Back in 5’ sign once again a bald-faced lie, but there is a menorah sat behind in the window, conveniently just out of reach of anyone who tries to get it. The candles are lit in a… somewhat sporadic fashion, the correct order but with no rhyme or reason to what ‘night’ is being represented. Either time is strange here, whoever’s in charge of it doesn’t know what day it is either, or they simply don’t care. Or some mix of the three.
Those two particular winter holidays are not the only ones represented either; characters will find a smattering of decorations or festive accessories from a great number of holidays, from their own worlds and beyond. There is what looks like a cabinet with instructions to pick your fortune from one of the many drawers. For some reason, there are a number of what looks like a child’s toy ponies placed on and around the cabinet. There are also some posters declaring in bold, decidedly upsetting typeset: “THE GOD-EMPEROR WISHES YOU A FESTIVE SANGUINALIA!” complete with a picture of a certain Library resident in all his feathered, shining glory. (The poster is not remotely shiny, but there are helpful accent lines to show that he should be shining.) And, for some reason, there is also a giant straw goat in the garden now, surrounded by festive strings of lights. Please do not set it on fire.
The Kitchens
It seems the decorations are not the only thing in the holiday spirit. The kitchens, usually bereft of anything but the most basic foodstuffs, are now full to the brim with a variety of holiday foods. There is always a tureen with hot mulled wine and a try of sweet pastries near by it, there’s ham and latkes in the fridge to be heated up, jelly doughnuts, moon cakes, pies, and an assortment of other delicious things. If your character would expect to find a certain thing within the stash, they do, regardless of how niche it may be. Christmas chili? Of course there’s christmas chili!
Oh, and that mulled wine isn’t the only alcohol around either- champagne, sake, hard cider… again, anything anyone might expect to find. Just try not to overdo it too much, alright? Everyone still has to sleep in the same room, and the Assistants aren’t going to show up to hold your hair back.
Crafts and More
What good are holidays without crafts? The Maker’s Space has been specially supplied with anything you might need to make your festive crafts- this includes everything you’d need for a gingerbread construction! (You’d think this would be in the kitchen, but don’t kid yourself- those things are not for eating.) There’s strips of colorful paper rings and instructions on how to make your own, little things of clay and paint and directions on how to craft your own dreidel, ’stained glass’ paper lanterns, and more. Oh, and glitter. Obviously there is a lot of glitter available.
There are also snow globe kits, mostly generic winter themes- trees, presents, and the like. Strangely enough, however, when they’re complete and shaken, they’ll show a memory from the person who shook it- a memory of a holiday, or snow, or generally something that invokes the feeling of the season- light, and hope, and togetherness. It’s fragmented, almost stop-motion in between the falling bits of ‘snow,’ but once it has settled the normal, basic scene inside returns.
Those who are new awake in the stacks.
You’re not sure when you fell asleep, and the memories of the last things you were doing are hazy at best. But now you’re here, and all you can see is books in every direction, the bookshelves teetering high enough above you to reach to the sky.
A helpful sign points you in the direction of the main circulation desk, and even if you try to ignore it and go in any other direction, the desk is where you will find yourself. A figure sits behind the desk, not even looking up as they sort through books and other media; they look, to your character, to be the exact picture of what they expect a Librarian to be.
Trying to ask the Librarian a question will get them shushed, but they’ll point down a hallway to the side, leading to a kitchenette and what appears to be a dorm room, where they’ll find they’re not alone in this strange place. But once they’ve looked away, when they look back, the Librarian is gone.
The Lobby
Those who are already familiar with the Library will see the Lobby change for the second time. It’s not paper plate UFOs and metal walls this time. Instead there are cheerful garlands strung about, and a stack of books shaped into a Christmas tree taking pride of place. The Help Desk is closed, the ‘Back in 5’ sign once again a bald-faced lie, but there is a menorah sat behind in the window, conveniently just out of reach of anyone who tries to get it. The candles are lit in a… somewhat sporadic fashion, the correct order but with no rhyme or reason to what ‘night’ is being represented. Either time is strange here, whoever’s in charge of it doesn’t know what day it is either, or they simply don’t care. Or some mix of the three.
Those two particular winter holidays are not the only ones represented either; characters will find a smattering of decorations or festive accessories from a great number of holidays, from their own worlds and beyond. There is what looks like a cabinet with instructions to pick your fortune from one of the many drawers. For some reason, there are a number of what looks like a child’s toy ponies placed on and around the cabinet. There are also some posters declaring in bold, decidedly upsetting typeset: “THE GOD-EMPEROR WISHES YOU A FESTIVE SANGUINALIA!” complete with a picture of a certain Library resident in all his feathered, shining glory. (The poster is not remotely shiny, but there are helpful accent lines to show that he should be shining.) And, for some reason, there is also a giant straw goat in the garden now, surrounded by festive strings of lights. Please do not set it on fire.
The Kitchens
It seems the decorations are not the only thing in the holiday spirit. The kitchens, usually bereft of anything but the most basic foodstuffs, are now full to the brim with a variety of holiday foods. There is always a tureen with hot mulled wine and a try of sweet pastries near by it, there’s ham and latkes in the fridge to be heated up, jelly doughnuts, moon cakes, pies, and an assortment of other delicious things. If your character would expect to find a certain thing within the stash, they do, regardless of how niche it may be. Christmas chili? Of course there’s christmas chili!
Oh, and that mulled wine isn’t the only alcohol around either- champagne, sake, hard cider… again, anything anyone might expect to find. Just try not to overdo it too much, alright? Everyone still has to sleep in the same room, and the Assistants aren’t going to show up to hold your hair back.
Crafts and More
What good are holidays without crafts? The Maker’s Space has been specially supplied with anything you might need to make your festive crafts- this includes everything you’d need for a gingerbread construction! (You’d think this would be in the kitchen, but don’t kid yourself- those things are not for eating.) There’s strips of colorful paper rings and instructions on how to make your own, little things of clay and paint and directions on how to craft your own dreidel, ’stained glass’ paper lanterns, and more. Oh, and glitter. Obviously there is a lot of glitter available.
There are also snow globe kits, mostly generic winter themes- trees, presents, and the like. Strangely enough, however, when they’re complete and shaken, they’ll show a memory from the person who shook it- a memory of a holiday, or snow, or generally something that invokes the feeling of the season- light, and hope, and togetherness. It’s fragmented, almost stop-motion in between the falling bits of ‘snow,’ but once it has settled the normal, basic scene inside returns.
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He's starting to get the idea that the Doctor is definitely not human either. Because anyone else would be asking Lucifer what is HE if not human.
"Because they're troublemakers," a shrug. "So any chance they get, they will take. They once accidentally set our library on fire, because they were too scared to admit they'd broken something I treasured." Seriously, what do you do with brothers like that? "One's even taller than me with orange hair, that's Beelz. He's the good one, he'll probably be eating something, but he causes the least amount of problems. Like I said, the good one. Asmo will be trying to find a shiny surface to look at himself. Belphie... probably wouldn't wake up until Beelz led him into trouble. Or adventure. They're twins. Fraternal, so they look nothing alike. I already looked for the astronomy section, but I'm not sure how they organize this place... anyway, that's where Belphie would be. Mammon..." Ugh. What WOULD Mammon do here? A FACEPALM. "Would try to sell you books." In. The. Library. Mammon is Mammon. Lucifer is embarrassed he even admitted this much. "Levi might be--" Lucifer closes an eye. It runs the gambit of possibilities. He looks around. "Depending on the tech, watching anime, playing video games, or screaming about the manga and light novels inadequate range for not having the latest issues or his personal curated collection." The last one is Satan. How does he describe Satan?
Lucifer drags a palm down his face.
"And Satan is blonde, angry, and loves books and cats more than Beelz loves food and Mammon loves money. A lot. So he'd be happy, and then beat the others senseless if they disrespected the books."
A SHRUG. "They're usually all together loud enough that even with music loud enough to wake the dead, I can still hear them fighting when they get too rowdy." Usually. If he's home. And the only reason Lucifer doesn't dare soundproof all his private sections. "You can just tell them their eldest brother is looking for them and they'll probably stop causing problems unless it's something monumental. Two of them are obviously less loud than all six, but all of them together can do too much damage to let loose on any dimension. Even Hell."
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The Doctor is serious press lip and looks alert; "We can't have them setting the library on fire."
"Wait, Satan, are you saying you're all demons?"
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"Yes. I'm Lucifer Morningstar. The eldest of them."
What's with the recognizing SATAN over the rest of them???? Lucifer is first!
.... No wait, that is not the problem here.
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"Satan may recognize me, I've met him in a few different forms with a few different faces."
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"That--"
Lucifer is confused, baffled, and shocked. "Why? You don't even know them." Or maybe he knows Satan but--??????????????
"How what?"
HUH?! Lucifer is on a sliding scale of increasing confusion. Illusion magic for sorcerers is a matter of course, fine, but Satan --?!
"Uh... Satan doesn't get out that much...."
Oh WOW. That sounds.... terrible. Okay, he's going to make it worse. "Uh, this will sound bad, but we used to have chain him up, so....." yeaaaaaaaaaaaah.
Ack. He sounds more like LEVIATHAN than himself!!!
UGH he's getting disgusted with himself having to admit he doesn't know something. A LOT OF SOMETHINGS. Focusing on what he DOES know and CAN tell:
"No. You must be mistaken." An eyebrow twitches. "I can sense absolutely zero magic about yo--"
That's not true. What is that weird physiology?!
No no, he's getting ahead of himself. UGH and getting a headache. Trying too hard to pierce the void again. A SQUINT. "What are you???"
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Turns into demon mode, losing his own human disguise, and full on intimidation and threatening mode. Not because he wants to destroy the Doctor, (yet if ever) but because he will never let anyone hurt his family ever again, not God, not Diavolo, and Satan needed him the most of all, because Satan was Lucifer's fault in more ways than anyone can understand, including himself. Satan had been stuck inside of Lucifer, seeing through him, his memories, and unable to be a part or make choices. All the rage, self-loathing, and existential crisis embodied into a whole other person, dividing Lucifer's strength and power, and externalizing the wrath that came from tearing his own wings off in defiance of their Father. Not even Lucifer could hate their father, even RESENT him, so it all turned inward, but was so paradoxical to all the pride and love he had it fractured into an entirely new entity onto his own.
This is mask off Lucifer, the 4 winged- fallen avatar of pride, the strongest devil with the most willpower, and all of it directed with a single-minded focus: to never allow a single threat near his family.
He'd panicked a lot over Lilith's descendant who confused him with how easily she was able to bond and connect with his family, he panicked over her [spoilers!] even more when she time traveled backwards and was a demon "attendant," apprentice of Solomon, he'd panicked before over Diavolo's orders that reminded Lucifer too much of Father's silence and the confusion he felt both times. How is he supposed to know if people won't tell him things?!
The same thing Satan demanded every single time, without fail. For the same reason as Lucifer. They're not the same, because Lucifer is older, wiser, and far FAR more dangerous.
At least he has more control than Satan, but barely. So nothing is flying around from the sheer force of his aura, but it's practically tangible, especially to anyone with the slightest psychic energy.
"Who are you really?" The Doctor couldn't be a heaven's spy, but a magician (?????) who didn't hold ANY pacts running into Satan??? THAT LUCIFER DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT?! IMPOSSIBLE! "Under what circumstances could you possibly meet Satan without the rest of us? Why are you here? WHAT IS YOUR AIM?! ANSWER ME DOCTOR!"
There's a reason even his brothers fear Lucifer more than anything else.
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What is an impossible planet?
For sure, Satan was definitely chained up a lot until he got better at creating a foundation for his own identity separate from Lucifer's shadow and something more than rage - mostly through the demon attendant.
"We're not finished." But he does everything he can to get himself under control. He can't for sure assume the Doctor is a threat until he talks to Satan, who probably wouldn't remember it anyway.
"It's not his... true form. It's just his demon form."
In the process of teaching Satan anger management, Lucifer had to get his hands on all he could about it, and he's employing the tricks now, mentally. "We're spiritual beings, we don't have a 'true form.'" Admittedly, their human forms were partially illusion, but reinforced greatly with real clothes and custom tailored, and could bleed and hurt, so at that point, Lucifer isn't sure how much it's even fake.
It was possible, Lucifer had to concede, that Satan's attempts to break free one of MANY TIMES, resulted in him winding up on another planet??? Or astral projecting??? Or... literally causing a hole in fabric of reality. Because angel chains SHOULD be unbreakable, yet he figured out how to break out of those!
Lucifer's getting a headache. This is why he doesn't get angry often. It's not worth the energy.
"What are you a Doctor of?" SUSPICIOUS.
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"Everything." He simply remarks with a bit of a brag.
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This is the only human more suspicious than Solomon!!!
"But not demonology." A sly smirk because... come on that was funny. Also that is Solomon's only doctorate, but still fuck that guy.
"What did you go to Impossible Planet for?"
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Finally, Lucifer lets go of his ready-to-attack!!! defensive posture, the wings not retracting or going invisible, just loosening, softening out of the previous protective/attack posture.
"She's really important to you, this Rose." He says her name different this time, a lot more tenderness. Lucifer doesn't believe in soul mates; much likes humans (or whatever the Doctor is) don't believe in him! So it's all fine. He's open to being wrong. It's probably a good idea, and if Father did come up with it, it was after the fall, and after Lilith, and maybe BECAUSE of both those things for all Lucifer knows.
"How do you reach impossible planets?"
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"With my Tardis."
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And for soulmates, neh, Lucifer wasn't so much asking as making a declaration. He can tell. And even if it was denied, he'd not believe.
"What's a tardis?" Ugh fine, they can get moving, to find... others. And stuff. So Lucifer switches back to human form. It's a funny thing about the demon-human forms, they are so good, as a human, there's no invisible wings just knocking books everywhere, and in the full fallen and missing 2 wings seraphim form; that would absolutely be happening. The illusion is powerful stuff -- mostly because it's reinforced with more than just vision. It operates on 5th and 6th dimensions instead, and can only be present in the basic material planes by people anchoring them there.
Another thought.
"When you saw Satan, he was chained, did you try to break him free?" Sigh. "It's not like I don't understand." Even if Lucifer saw a random human chained up, he'd be more inclined to break them out than not! "It's just... when we first fell into Hell, he was really confused. More than all the rest of us. And he couldn't control the rage. The rest of us--" he is NOT about to tell this wildly suspicious person about the avatars of sins things, a glance sideways off as he quickly thinks how to explain it. "Had more time to be whole people and try to understand Father's teachings or orders than Satan." Close enough? He doesn't like that way it sounds, but he's struggling to convey the ideas that came before language. "He's gotten... better. At control. He's almost as strong as me at this point." Some might argue better than Lucifer, but no one would dare say it to his face, and so that's good enough. "I need to know. Because if he was just bursting with that much magical power--"
No, right, no demonology. He needs to use his most scientific adult words he never uses with humans because they sound like gobbledegook demon curses to the uninformed who would try to burn any human who repeated it for being a witch. "Inter-dimension, planar crossing, psychic transference of body and soul, ripping a hole through Father's work - creation, just because he was trying to get free so hard, he managed to transport himself off Devildom's plane, into a completely different one, and STILL managed to break the angel-forged chains on his own...."
Deep breath. "Then I have so much more work to do than just being stuck here." He might cry. Not really. In front of strangers. He doesn't know if he hopes a RANDOM STRANGER was able to break Satan free or Satan did it himself (like they'd always assumed.) On the one hand, it SEEMS like something Father would purposely put into the design on angel-bound chains. Any human (mortal? UNINVOLVED INNOCENT PERSONS) kindness would break them. VERY much his Father's style.
On the other hand, it was already scary as hell that Satan was able to go that far, (to break them) but if he was ripping holes in time-space, that's probably actually worse than just breaking the chains himself. No good answers.
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"You and me both," The Doctor remarks, "But I'm here for a reason it's figuring out what that is."
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A weary sigh. Okay. Could have been worse. Not GREAT. But Lucifer gets it. He already knew full well, that his own domination and possession powers were divided 50/50 with Satan. He knew them, could use them intuitively, but not control them. They call it sickness magic for the humans' sake (to save them time of complicated almost gobbledegook pointless words) but it's basically pent up repressed latent psychic energy (and others -- sexual in Asmo's case, but we don't talk about that if we can avoid it!) screaming for release/action/USAGE.
And in those early years with Satan? Yeah. Definitely.
He still broke the chains though.
"Angel-forged chains operate on 18 dimensions."
Does that help? "They're not like simple--" he has to think. It would help if he understood better what the Doctor is. He's been using magic descriptions as short-hand for so long, he feels like he's having to scrabble around in his brain for the literal building blocks of early childhood (for angels) development. Or whatever.
"4 or 5 dimensional chains, where you can break them at say; the mechanical level, or the chemical level, or emotional level." Okay this will work. Either the Doctor will know what he's talking about, or not have a clue. "And obviously... Father wasn't doing it."
Okay, it's fine. Lucifer has broken an insane amount of angel chains before, why wouldn't Satan? Ugh. Whatever. The impossible planet thing... Granted Lucifer was really freaking out when Satan was created. The fall was extreme enough to nearly shatter time/space on its own, so there's a lot that Satan could have done, could be capable of, that they just hadn't thought about before. It's definitely an uneasy feeling.
"I was hoping to take this as a vacation. A book-vacation." He's never had one of those before. And he gives the Doctor a side-eye. When the workaholic to end all workaholicism thinks you work too hard; you need a break. Unless vacationing is the Doctor's work, and then it's probably fine.
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The Doctor gives a head nod understanding something that operates in multi dimensions like his Tardis keylock.
"I'm sorry- wat, what? Wat?!" Clearly not understanding how to tell what dimensional chains they were.
"I'm definitely going to see if thar's a book I haven't read before." Given his age that is saying quite a lot and the Tardis library, The Doctor has.
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He even understands the 'impossible planet thing.' And more keenly, what he can carefully stop saying because there's no more need.
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A snap "Oh wait two more things. Was there Hell script on that planet? It looks like -- uh hang on." No pen, paper, well it's been ages since Lucifer bothered with something that archaic, so he just writes it on the air with his fingers. Seriously. It's liberating not to hold back so much. Above it he puts angelic yellow glowing characters and then finally English.
"This is:" and then the word for each. The Hell script is extremely gutteral, garish, and emphasizes SEVERE angles and edges, with most of the emphasis on letters being on the bottom half, and looks like a werewolf (or demon) tried to claw it into existence with great violence. Or just make it look the exact opposite of the angel script. Which is actually exactly what they did. It seemed like a good idea at the time. The angel script, as stated is exactly opposite the red demon language in form. It's very very loopy, round, elegant, and all focused on the top half of the characters. Embroidery outdoing beautiful calligraphy, and quite nearly gold.
"If the TARDIS is powered on auron energy, it shouldn't be able to translate those. I think. If I understand correctly. We put our names on the chains, you know... so he wouldn't feel alone." That's embarrassing. A huff. "He's still our brother." But the names were in angel script, because they were still new to Devildom, the rest of the pit and everything else was still very much Devildom, Hell stuff.
"You also said something about the other time was a Hairy Scratch????"
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He pauses in being called out, he figured someone was clever but not that clever. "I'm a Time Lord. No God. I don't have a religion, me. I walk in eternity."
The Doctor waits for the other to explain better; "Yes, that was exactly that was here and there. No one could translate it. Not even my Tardis."
The Doctor gives a head nod, "It was a form of Satan in another dimension. Scratchman roamed his realm freely."
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Oh joy. He's going to get glomped-stabbed by Michael, probably. Welp, just gonna brace himself. Unless the Doctor means Night Haunter's brother?
Okay, so the impossible planet stuff is clearly established at least.
Scratchman??? Ehhh... Satan is just... so weird sometimes. All the time. Not the least of which the way he came into being. But Lucifer's deadass seen him act like a detective on a human train in England, making all kinds of weird book/movie references Lucifer didn't recognize. So.... Sure. What's one more weird thing to the list?
"Don't--" He shouldn't give orders. It's a request. "Please... if we find Satan, let me handle him if anything goes wrong? It's my job as eldest." Siiiiiigh. Right. Family is... not the same for other species/cultures/WHATEVER out there. Okay, right. "I'm the only thing that scares him. And he isn't trying to hurt people anymore. I mean he's specifically trying not to hurt people. Just me." Is that... okay? He realizes again, that probably sounds awful. "It's--" he REALLY REALLY doesn't feel comfortable explaining the Fall. "He was just a baby when you met him. For angel-demons. He didn't get to be an angel, just suddenly, wasn't part of my psyche, was a full-fledged unbelievably powerful demon, and he didn't have the tools capable of controlling himself. Or even really understanding all these rapid changes happening all at once all around him." Ugh it feels... phenomenally weird to try to explain this.
"He's... better now. He has more control than even Asmodeus, so he's the fourth oldest of us. Asmo is 5th. He's not--" evil? He's a demon, of course he's evil. "A direct threat to you or anyone else if you don't provoke him. And I provoke him by existing, but I can handle him. So please..." a sigh. "This... would be his heaven. The closest he can get." Eyes dart away. "He's actually crushed himself under books in his bedroom twice now. I swear..." Huff. It's not easy being a Mom of six fallen angels when you have zero maternal instincts or training! "No one loves books as much as him. He can also code-crack like no one else. Even more than me." Another huff and Lucifer looks upwards. "Probably shouldn't be surprising about the chains then." Back at the Doctor, "Just, if he shows up... try to be-" gentle, nice, kind, let Satan be HIMSELF, figure out what that MEANS. "Reasonable. Like I said, he was basically a baby in those days. He might not remember it, but it's not his fault."
A head tilt, "Is Rose a Timelord, timelady, time-being too?"
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"Sanguinius, Primarch of the IX Legiones Astartes, the Blood Angels."
The Doctor gives a head nod he understands about giving Satan a chance and even more importantly how siblings function. Once upon a time, The Doctor had siblings and he was the youngest of them all.
"I wont provoke him. Promise." Then a head nod, "Reasonable, I can do." Then his hearts flick at the question because he thinks of Romana.
"No, she's brilliantly human."
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Okay, given the Doctor was quiet about Rose before, and her being human and him, not, he'll go back to the immortality thing.
"So you're primarily 4th dimensional, but you don't have to use mortals to work in the material plane or anything?" As much as he can understand. "Are you mostly around Earth?" Because that's all Lucifer really knows.
Oh, and now that he's gotten a promise, Lucifer is almost way more placid. Just curious, but also far less chatty. Stressed Lucifer overcompensates with words, because he's good with them. "I should probably let you ask questions now. Thank you very much for answering mine." Back to manners, like he wasn't ready to throw down and hex the Doctor with insane things if he had to. Which, NOW THAT HE HAS SPACE, would have been super stupid, because Satan and his siblings aren't even around that he has seen yet.
"I don't know of a Sanguinius or blood angels, but I'll keep it in mind, thank you." Polite.
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"You've already answered many of my questions. I suppose I would like to know how you became a demon."
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"From who or what?" As near as Lucifer can tell, the humans themselves are the biggest threat to Earth, not that he wants them obliterated.
"Couldn't pick an easy one, really?" Okay, what is THE LEAST emotionally damaging thing he can say about it? He doesn't exactly TRUST the Doctor by any extreme stretch of the word, even if he's pretty sure the TimeLord (still doesn't understand that either and seriously doubts the "eternity" thing) wants to protect Earth, Lucifer distrusts the methodology and doesn't know him.
He basically says it almost like a run on sentence, to just get it over with, but clearly not caring about being clear. "The Great Celestial War happened over a human and someone else." Vague, but if the Doctor's going to be unhelpful, Lucifer can match and outdo anyone at any game. "I was not in favor of destruction. Father was. I had a choice: get in line, or go to Hell. Guess which I chose." This is easily the funniest version he's ever told anyone ever. Best.
"I landed like a meteor, a giant cloud of dirt rose up," 100% true. "And I said 'You've got very low soil quality here in Devildom. You need to do something about that.'" ALSO 100% true. "And the Prince was not paying attention, and still hasn't fixed the soil quality at all, but grew me some poison apples." ALL TRUE. SPITTING STRAIGHT FACTS. Obviously leaving out every single relevant and mildly emotional plot detail that would make the story COGENT, but he did not lie.
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